Friday, April 30, 2010

Thanks A Lot...........

Lately, my family and I have been going through some difficult times. Things have been hard. I really feel like I am being tested and judged in a lot of ways. There have been days where my eyes have burned from tears that were waiting to be shed. My heart has felt heavy and I haven't always dealt with the tough times in the best way. The "Good Christian Girl" would never admit what I am about to admit so that either means I am not a "Good" girl or it means really none of us are. This not so good girl has been have thoughts like this during the difficult times: "Thanks a lot God". Now it would be great if the tone of that was praising, joyful, respectful but the truth is the tone is more angry, resentful, and hurtful. Read it again with those words in mind. Thanks a lot God. Yep, not very good or Christian like. I know this so then I start feeling guilty, shameful. I was carrying that guilt and shame along with the hurt and anger around like a boulder for a couple of days. I started feeling heavy emotionally and physically from the weight of it all. A boulder is heavy. Especially one that is there because you are mad at God! Now I have been working up to running a 5k and my last training day for that week was around this time. I kept putting the run off all day. Why would I want to run when I had a boulder on my back? The weather was windy and intermittent rain had been falling throughout the day. Well, there seemed to be a "window" of clear weather so I set out to get the run over with. Every thing started out fine and then it was time for my first run. As soon as I started I felt the first drops of rain. Now I could have turned around and went back home, it wasn't that far but I told myself a "real" runner wouldn't quit. So I kept going. Instead of getting better it just kept getting worse. The rain was blowing in my eyes so I couldn't see that well, my clothes were soaked and heavy, it was cold, and really uncomfortable! But I didn't stop. I kept going. "Real runners don't quit. A little rain is nothing." Then just like it started it suddenly stopped and the sun came out. I wiped the rain from eyes and I saw how beautiful my surroundings were. The sun warmed my face. It sparkled on the road causing me to smile. Although the sun was sandwiched between two fierce, black clouds it was shining with brilliance. Then a voice whispered across my soul "Real Christians don't give up either. A little trouble is nothing. I can handle it if you just let Me." I probably would have stopped right in my tracks if I wasn't exercising. My body didn't stop but my mind did. It stopped whirling with guilt and worry instead I just felt at peace about it all. My life is kind of like my run that day. I started out with a plan of running in dry weather and ended up running in a sudden downpour. In my life I have a plan of how I think everything and everyone should be. Then God may put a downpour in my life(maybe stress or work issues or a child who doesn't behave or finances) to show me that life isn't how I plan it but how He plans it. My job is to not to give up, to follow His will, and to trust. Sure there will still be storms but even in a storm there can beauty if I just wipe the rain from my eyes to see. The sun does appear after a storm. I want to be there with my face turned upward, arms held high saying with adoration every time "Thanks a lot God."

Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a huge crowd of witnesses to the life of faith, let us strip off every weight that slows us down, especially sin that so easily trips us up. And let us run with endurance the race God has set before us. Hebrews 12:1

Wednesday, April 14, 2010

Couch 2 5k W3D1

Are you getting tired of hearing about C25k? I am excited I guess. Well I think I am. Maybe.

Yesterday, I did D1W3. It was hard and hot(that's what she said**sorry too many Office episodes). Anyway, I made the mistake of trying a new course and sure enough when she came on and said "Okay here is your first 3 minute run. Ready, set , go!" I was running up a steep hill. I walked just a little but I am counting it because I ran all the rest of the sets. The thing is now I just feel physically tired and mentally beat up. I think part of it is allergy related and part of it is that I haven't been sleeping well because of our dog Chloe. Tomorrow I am going to run on a course I know so I don't encounter a steep hill. I need to go to bed earlier tonight too. Hopefully that will help.

Any other suggestions???

Saturday, April 10, 2010

C25K W1 and W2

Sooo, I have been doing the Couch 2 5k running plan. It is basically interval training where you walk then run for an allotted amount of time. I have completed week 1, it was pretty easy. Run for 60 seconds recover for 90 seconds by walking. I have done two days so far of week 2. The first day kicked my butt. It was a very windy day so basically the whole time that I was running/walking the wind was hitting me in the face directly or from the side. There was moment when I was running that I felt like I was just running in place. The last 90 second run that I did I just kept repeating to myself "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me!" It was hard but I did it! I also think that part of the problem was that I hadn't drank enough water for the day so I was dehydrated. I came home and immediately downed a bottle of water.
Last nights run was better. It was less windy and the run segments seemed easier. Although, I know now not to eat two small pieces of pizza for pre-run fuel(duh). I kept burping and had heartburn by the end. I usually like to eat almonds or pb and banana. I guess that is what I need to stick to! It is funny but I really didn't feel like running(I am not sure if I should call what I am doing running yet because I am walking part of the time) but I knew that there are people who know about what I am trying to do and I didn't want to seem like a slacker for them or myself. It is funny that facebook is keeping me accountable to this training. I do feel great now that I did it. I really like it and I look forward to doing it. I haven't walked once during any of the runs which makes me feel proud.
Something I am not so proud of is my eating habits. I have been indulging in some Reeses Peanut Eggs that I got for a $1 at Wal-mart the day after Easter. I haven't been keeping track of what I am eating and it shows on the scales. Plus over all I just feel crappy. So I guess I need to run and jump back on the Weight Watchers wagon. I want to lose weight but what I really want is to feel better and be healthier!
Maybe someday Marc will get on here and write something. He is supposed to be running a 5k with me but I haven't seen him run yet. I know he will though. It is too bad we can't run together but that would mean that we would have to leave our 5 & 8 year old sons home alone and authorities seem to frown on that! So for the time being this is my running partner.

This is one of our dogs. His name is Roscoe. He is a pretty good running partner but he keeps running off to chase bunnies or other dogs or cows. He does help me feel protected in case some crazy in a car decides to stop and kidnap me while I am running. Or at least I hope he would protect me unless of course he is chasing a squirrel somewhere!

Do you run with your dog? or do you have a human running partner? or do you prefer to run alone?

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