A Letter to Jillian

Dear Jillian Michaels,
On Thanksgiving day, right before going to my mother's house to stuff myself with turkey and noodles, I saw you on the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade. At that time you announced that you are going to be doing a new show where you will be traveling around the country helping families get healthy. I would like to ask that you consider my family for your show. Now we are not morbidly obese, a matter of fact our combined total weight of our entire family of four is probably around 340 pounds which is less than what Shay weighed in at the beginning of the B.L. this season. But it is in my opinion that a person does not need to be super fat to be unhealthy.
For example, on a typical day my husband might go without breakfast and lunch (his own choice not because he doesn't have access to food) he will then come home eat dinner, junk food, and end the night by eating Twinkies in bed. Amazingly enough he still weighs just a little above his college weight. He doesn't eat much fruit or green vegetables. His family history isn't the greatest; with a diabetic grandmother, parents with cholesterol issues, and a father with diabetic tendencies I am afraid that eventually he too will develop a health issue.
My two sons seem to be at healthy weights for their ages (eight and four) but they are really not developing healthy habits for the future. Both love sweets and junk food. They both turn up their noses to vegetables, some fruits, and any new dish I might try to prepare for the family. Our activity as a family involves video games, movies, and/or shopping. During the summer it is easier because we will play ball in the yard or take hikes in the woods.
As for myself, I am the heaviest of the family. Like I said I am not obese but I am over weight. My family history isn't the greatest either. My father died of heart disease. My mother is healthy but three of my aunts and uncles have died due to heart disease. A few years ago I lost 25 pounds but the weight is slowly creeping back on. Now I just feel sad, embarrassed, and like I let my self and my family down. I know what I should be doing: eating healthier and exercising but somewhere between the knowing and doing I get lost. I read about other people who are doing it right, I see people on the Biggest Loser making changes, I think back when I did it before but I just can't seem to do it. I like to talk the talk but it is the walking the walk part(both literally and figuratively) I can't/won't do. Maybe it is fear of being better, fear of putting myself first, fear of being someone I am not sure how to be(even after losing 25 pounds I never saw myself as thin), maybe it just the fear of being out of my comfort zone. I don't know maybe that is why you could come help me and my family figure it out and guide us in changing our lives for the better.
As I said in the beginning, we are not obese, we are a some what normal mid-western family who could make some changes for a healthier way of life. All you have do is give us a chance. Or better yet you can show us how to give ourselves a chance. Thank you for your time.
Sincerely,
Kim

This letter is wishful thinking although completely true. I know there isn't a chance in he** that Jillian Michaels will show up at my house to whip us into shape and scare my children(heck she scares me). So the big question is this: What am I going to do about myself and my families unhealthy lifestyle? Can I make a plan and stick with it? Can I stop buying the junk food and start making a healthier way for us? There are "people" out there who do it every day, can I be one of them too? Am I brave enough..........

This Is It

So yesterday afternoon after the Colts game Jackson and I went up to Metropolis to see Michael Jackson's This Is It. It was great! It really was. I found myself experiencing a variety of emotions as I watched it. I started out curious because i really had no idea what to expect. Within about 10 minutes, I found myself suddenly feeling very sad. As in, there were tears in my eyes sad.....there were no voice overs to the film, telling anyone what to think or how to feel...It was simply MJ at rehearsal, completely in his element, and within moments we all could see that he was still absolutely amazing. The moves were as good as ever. The voice - strong and spot-on with the music that we love so much. Like I said, within moments of seeing just how wonderful and talented he still was, I felt knots in my stomach and some wetness in my eyes, knowing that his passing prevented these amazing shows from ever occurring....and seeing how spectacular he still was - you just could not help but wonder what might have been - what should have been. I felt sad for a good 40 minutes....but then my changed into something way more positive. I began to think about how, because of this footage, he was able to prove all those who see it - that he still had it - BIG TIME....had this footage never existed, I must admit that I would likely have felt a little different about his passing. i had always been a fan, but i have to admit that i doubted that he could still amaze people. I sat there yesterday in the movie theater and i was amazed. So, even though I was moved by his passing, at the time it was because of what he used to be....but know I know that I am sad because of what he still was. As the film went on, I sat there with Jackson, singing along, drumming the armrests, not giving a rats crap about what i may have looked like doing this in a movie theater - I just allowed myself to enjoy it, and I so did. Jackson leaned over and whispered to me "Dad, this is the best movie i have ever seen....It is better than Star Wars". Now, for Jackson to say this, well, if you know him I would equate it to Peyton Manning saying that going to an MJ concert was better than winning the Super Bowl. As it came to a close, 121 minutes later, I did not want it to end....the credits started rolling and people clapped....for awhile....and I didn't see a single person stand up out of their seat until the credits were done. You could sense that people did not want to see the last of MJ. I know I didn't.

The guy

Anything is Possible!

It is the beginning of a new month. I feel the excitement of new beginnings and a fresh start. I know that when we started this blog a month ago that I talked of starting over but unfortunately I let life get in the way of that start. Yes, sickness and a particularly stressful class of kindergartners can affect my life but only if I let it! I can focus on the circumstance and look at those small things in my life or I can focus on the big picture. I am choosing to look at the big picture. Two years ago I started Weight Watchers around this time. Yes, right before Thanksgiving and Christmas, usually the hardest time for anyone to lose weight and exercise. I did it though and managed to lose weight. I was committed to doing it. That makes the difference. So starting today, November 1st, I am making that commitment again! It doesn't matter if I ate biscuits and gravy for breakfast. What matters is that I had a nice family breakfast with Marc and the boys. What will matter even more is that I do some sort of exercise later. Life is about choices and perspective, I am going to get my rear in gear with both!

Goals for November:
1. Track foods using Weight Watchers points using the Healthy Guide Lines.
2. Exercise at least 3 times a week. I know 3 times doesn't sound like much but when
I have been having a hard time doing any exercise 3 times is a start! Keep an
exercise log. Do you do this? I find satisfaction in marking down and then
seeing my accomplishments.
3. Read my new devotional every day and journal with it when I can.
4. Write this list down and posting them where I will see them every day. No more out of sight out of mind!

Do you have goals for the month? Tell us about them!!
-Me