Friday, November 26, 2010

Second Verse Same As The First

Wow, the last time I wrote anything on here was on June 29th, that is a long time. Time got away from me I guess or more honestly I am embarrassed to say that I just kind of fell off on my running. I did run the 5k on July 4th. I didn't run the whole time because of issues with my allergies/asthma but finished in 36:30. Then my allergies got worse and worse and summer got hotter and hotter and I just stopped putting the effort into the running. I am sad about it and every time I think about it I get that feeling of loss inside of me. A matter of fact, on the very rainy drive home from Cincinnati today, U2's "Beautiful Day" came on the radio and I got that feeling inside of me. That song is on either W8 or W9 of the running mix I would train with. It is like I am missing an old friend. Now it is winter and we do not own a treadmill. I guess if I truly miss it I would just suck it up and run outside after school. I don't know but I gotta do something.

I guess I am getting a little ahead of myself here though. If you read the title of this post and you know me then you can probably guess what is coming..........I am going to talk about how I have gained weight, how I need to do Weight Watchers again, and how I need to get an exercise routine. This is what I keep saying over and over again in my life heck it could be verse 10 same as the first. Obviously something is not working because I shouldn't be having so many do overs with this area of my life either that or I am really slow learner. Usually when I start feeling like all these issues need to be worked on I jump right in and just try to do what I always do but this time I have really been thinking about the why, how,what, and the things I know. I want this to be honest, realistic, life changing, on-going, satisfy(in the sense of contentment), and healthy. So without further ado here are the things I have been thinking about.

Things I know:
  • This is going to take time and there is going to be trial and error. It has taken me several months to gain this weight. It will take several months to get it back off and a life time to keep it off.
  • This requires work and preparation. I will need to plan my exercise and my meals. I don't want to become obsessed with food, points for foods, and planning exercise but for awhile it will probably need to be that way.
  • I need to allow myself the privilege of taking care of myself. I am not being selfish if I take time to exercise. It does not mean that I love the people in my life less if I put my needs first every once in awhile. A matter of fact, it is a way of showing love to them because I want to be healthy so that I will be around for them later in life.
  • I need to find a way to deal with stress, my emotions, and other people that doesn't involve food. If I am stressed(i.e. at work I will eat candy bars, at home ice cream), if I am happy/sad I eat, and if I don't know how to deal with people I eat. Food has to stop being my soother in these situations. Exercise will obviously help a great deal with the stress. I also think a journal would help with the emotions and people.
  • I want to feel better. Remembering what it feels like after a run, that feeling of accomplishment and happiness, that is what I need to focus on. Remembering the day in PetSmart that I picked up the 20 pounds of dog food and thinking this is what you have lost(now gained back, no wonder I feel crappy). I know putting fruit, vegetables, less fat, water, and wholesome foods in my body makes me feel better. I need to focus on those things.
  • I would really like to be a role model for my husband and sons. If I start changing my habits then maybe they will look up to that and make changes too. My hope is that we become a healthy, active family.
  • This is about the most absurd time to start anything. Christmas is 4 weeks away. I already know of 6 different gatherings that we will be going to that will have food. But not starting now would be absurd too because there are always going to be situations to deal with. Get over it and just deal. I know how to cope in those situations!!!
  • I am going to need to join TOPS so that I have the weekly accountability of getting weighed by someone. I need that, I wish I didn't but I do. I have been "trying to do it on my own" for several months and it is not working. I need accountability. I am considering going to weight watchers for a week just to get the low down on the new program but I think I can probably just look around the internet after next week and find what I need. TOPS is a lot cheaper. Hopefully, I will get stickers or something if I lose each week. I am just like a little kid when it comes to that kind of stuff :o).
  • It might be hard to exercise for a while after my surgery(I am going to have sinus surgery in January) but I can still watch what I eat. Plus, it is November right now January is a month and a half away. So get your butt in gear girl!
  • I CAN DO ANYTHING that I put my mind to and with the Lord's help. I CAN DO THIS!!!
So these are the things I know. I also know that it is 4 in the morning(I guess Marc going to Wally World for deals was good for me getting this post written) and that I am tired. Either tomorrow evening or Saturday I will write about how I am going to do this. I have probably written about those goals before too but seeing words written out are powerful to me. The bed is calling my name. I will leave you with a quote from the book "The Traveler's Gift" by Andy Andrews:
"I am saying that outside influences are not responsible for where you are mentally, physically, spiritually, emotionally, or financially. You have chosen the pathway to your present destination. The responsibility for your situation is yours."
"Our thinking creates a pathway to success or failure."

Well Marc is home. Nighty Night!

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